There seem to be about a billion articles online covering Josh Duggar’s hypocrisy, and most say the same sorts of things. He had a problem, his parents didn’t give him the help he should have had, and the problem grew and grew until it because a huge part of his life – and that he’s a true hypocrite. Overwhelmingly, responses on the Internet have been negative, even from the people who supported him the first time round (the molestation). The tide has clearly changed. Yet it seems as if his family has not changed. Again, this is only based on Internet reports (which aren’t the most reliable of sources to say the least), but apparently, the family is holding onto its religion more tightly than ever.
I don’t understand this. As far as I can see, there is a clear divide between the fundamental ideas and values in Christianity (love, forgiveness, servanthood etc…) and the practices people follow in the name of that religion. I don’t understand why a family like the Duggars wouldn’t examine these two ideas, especially the idea that the forms they practice might be harmful. Perhaps they should take a long, hard look at HOW they practice their religion. Perhaps they should open their eyes and hearts and brains to other ways of practicing?
I’ve never, ever understood how they rationalize keeping their children so tightly “protected” and then somehow expect them to be able to cope once they leave home (and that means, for the girls at least, when they get married). They are to jump from being controlled in every aspect of their lives to being free (well, the males, anyway), and are expected to set up their families in the same way. This is nonsensical. Children need to be given ever-increasing freedoms (with appropriate support and guidance) until they are on their feet. Banning this, that, and the other thing is NOT a valid way to bring up a child. Sure, children should be protected from great harm, but banning everything until they get married does not teach them how to cope with life.
Josh made a “mistake” when he was 14 years old. That’s how his parents and siblings see it, and that’s how they treated it. They added locks to the girls’ bedroom (and I have wondered ever since I heard that if the locks were on the inside or the outside), stopped allowing little ones to sit on boys’ knees, stopped allowing bigger boys to change diapers (this one makes my head hurt… is this no longer dangerous once they are married??), and wouldn’t let children go off alone (or with a partner… not entirely sure how that was supposed to work), yet they did NOT help Josh. He received NO counseling from a trained professional, and his conversion experience was assumed to overwrite his sexual proclivities. Nonsense! Utter nonsense!
This kid had NO outlets. Heck, he couldn’t even pass a woman on the street who might have 1/2 inch of cleavage showing without his family saying “Nike” and forcing him to look the other way. Because, you know, cleavage is sinful. Sex, and anything related to it, became the forbidden, hidden, fruit. Yet, his parents freely interacted with each other in a sexual way with no thought of who might be watching (I don’t mean to imply they had intercourse in front of their children, but certainly they kissed and touched, and JimBob was quite happy to mention making babies in front of the children). So, we have a curious child who has no overt way of satisfying his curiosity. A disaster waiting to happen. He goes underground… and his parents are surprised.
No, that family needs NOT to cling to their religion. By all means, they should cling to their faith, but clearly their religious practices are harmful. They need to take a good, hard look at those and make some changes before another one of their kids goes all Joshy.